Monday, 30 November 2009

The Advantages of Being a Wargamer (2)

It's not often that I'm inspired by the world of golf (as Mark Twain said "A good walk ruined" when asked about what he thought of the game), however Tiger Wood's recent misfortune made me think.

I mean he was very lucky, having decided to go out for a drive in the middle of the night, that his wife had a golf club handy to smash a window out of the car so that he could escape. Can't see anyone freeing you from a wrecked car with a bucket of multi-sided dice or a steel tape measure.

Alternatively if the circumstances were different* and she had been chasing him down the drive with one of the implements of his hobby, that'd be quite scary. I imagine you could do quite a bit of damage with a driver in the heat of the moment, with relatively little back swing.

It's a bit difficult imaging a wargamer's partner assaulting any wargamer with, say, a box of Parthians, in an attempt to bash his brains out with it. Even if you loaded them into a hand bag they'd do realtively little damage and there's loads of premeditation in that case, isn't there? There must be many objects more suitable for that purpose just lying round the house without resorting to the hobby room, so few wargamers are likely to be beaten to death with some of their much treasured figures.

On the other hand the traditional toolbox full of modern 28mm metal figures would tend to make a fearsome weapon if dropped from a height**. If you could lift it to a dangerous enough level without straining yourself in the first place.

Which just leaves modelling knives to do you a mischief, and frankly if you were going to stab someone you'd go for something from the kitchen, wouldn't you?

So on balance I reckon my hobby is unlikely to be turned against me by my nearest and dearest. I mean, it's not even as dangerous as owning a model railway as at least none of it is plugged in to the mains electricity.

Being a wargamer is great.

* And in case Mr Wood's lawyers find this blog I realise there's no way that there was any domestic tension between Mr & Mrs Wood AT ALL.

** Another reason to despise the mis-shapen lumpen objects.

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